On My Way.

In the Invitation to Love, I speak to the concept of faith. – For me, faith is like love, it’s perfect in aspiration, but imperfect in application.  -And similar to love, the foe of faith is shame.  Shame is regret metastasized.  Shame is what hinders progress, growth, and breakthroughs.

Since the time of first writing my book, I have experienced a number of moments where shame or regret has seeped into my system.  What I learned in writing my book, and continue to work to master, is that on the other side of shame is redemption.

Redemption is the activation of faith – knowing that mistakes, missteps, and poor acts each come with an opportunity for recalibration, realignment, and yes, redemption. To be clear, redemption is not necessarily the return to something of old, but it is the applied lesson of old set to something new.

In the case of a relationship with another that was marred by mistakes, redemption is not necessarily the restoration of that relationship, but may, in fact, be the lesson(s) learned from that relationship in the birth of something new.  Understanding this truth can be the start to disempowering shame.

The anecdote to the shame is the act of trying again. It is the act of trying to love ourselves again, when our best selves have become foreign to us. It is the act of trying to love another, when our past experiences have left us pained. It is the act of trying again when the last attempt ended short of success.

In the days of late, I have had some moments (minor, but notable all the same) of regret and shame from acts that are out of alignment with myself – at my core. But also, in the days of late have been great moments of pride when I look back and see how I have activated love and initiated faith in my attempt to apply lessons, try again, and recalibrate.

So know this for sure, while you might not have the relationship you desire, the peace you require, or be the version of yourself that you aspire; be keen to honor you are on your way. We are on our way each time we work to silence shame, by trying again with faith and love as our journeymen.

American Beauty

Sometimes putting pen to paper comes with great ease and at other points, it can be quite challenging. This has been one of those seasons where the metaphorical pen well has often run dry. But as of late, I have been reflecting on recent lessons learned and how to codify my thoughts in a blog like this. I thought of many things, but what seemed to flourish for me is the insights gained from 2023.

In the United States, in this season, we have experienced defining legislation limiting the rights of many. We have seen diversity and inclusion weaponized to formulate factions, division and incubate fear. At the same time, we have also seen communities coalesce and move with solidarity toward the goal of our collective freedom.

Last summer, I joined millions of Americans in the tradition of celebrating the Fourth of July -a time marked in this region of the world for independence – represented by BBQs with friends and loved ones – and fireworks to close the day. Now, I see Independence Day not as a celebration of history, but rather a hope for the promise in tomorrow.

In the book, A Course in Miracles, love is spoken as not the opposite of hate, but the opposite of fear. The thought-leader Dr.  Brené Brown writes that the only way to combat hate is through connection. With those two truths in mind, perhaps in this season of Independence, we would all benefit from a reflection on the spaces where fear and hate reside – first within us, and then in the communities we are part.

Fear internally, for me manifest most often when I am looking in spaces other than myself for joy, for peace, for acceptance. The fear surfaces when I give the power of my joy, my peace, and my acceptance to people (and communities) that were never destined to hold that authority.  Hate is hard to carry when seen up close, and in this season, I take pause to ask “how” more than “why” to answer that great call offered by Brown. Asking the question of how is one’s fear developed, rather than why. Asking how did one decide to hate, or desire to diminish the voice and power of another rather than why. With the question “how” I seek to get at that illustrious virtue known as empathy.

Empathy for me is one of the keys to my freedom, which in my view (freedom) is the keystone of Independence. So, in this moment of reflection on the year recently passed, or as I share the pain of millions facing up to the harsh winter storms in recent weeks, I continue to seek freedom, liberation, and independence not just for the United States of America, but for the citizen whose care I have been entrusted most: ME.

Stay Mindful

With the new BA. 5 variant on the rise in the United States, I am regularly reminded that our time as a global community with COVID-19 is far from over. With each passing day and the happenings in our world surrounding the Pandemic and beyond; I remain present to the fact of my need to stay mindful.

Mindfulness is a practice I have discussed on many occasions and occupies a number of the pages of my book, The Invitation to Love – but the art of it cannot be stressed enough. With the proliferation of vaccines and therapeutics, many of us (myself included) have looked at the Pandemic as something in the rearview mirror, behind us, rather than with us currently. With COVID-19, there are risk in not being mindful to what is happening: rise in cases and rise in hospitalizations.

I see the Pandemic as a teacher of sorts and can serve as a metaphor for so many aspects of life. I think about (and ask myself the question) how I am mindful (or absent minded) in my relationships, how am I mindful of finances, how am I mindful of my health. Like COVID-19, I may not feel it, may not presently experience it, and I certainly don’t see it – nonetheless it is there.

The vaccine may not be an antidote to my finances, health and relationships, but mindfulness is….I am taking the time to reflect on my health –how I honor my body and what I put in it. I think about my finances as a relationship to foster and offer attention to; and finally, in my relationships, I stay mindful of a fact I first learned in the book, A Course in Miracles, that communication is one of our greatest acts of love. How am I communicating my needs, my hurts, my truths to the ones I love? – For me, these are vital questions.

We are in a season of new variants – variants in relationships, finances, health, an on-going list of considerations; and yes, COVID-19. With each new variant, may we be mindful of how we offer attention, respond, and prepare ourselves for the moment when this season (like the ones that came before it) changes.