So much of my own healing has come through my own understanding of the need to find that chorus line of people who understand my song of pain…. I don’t blame others for their rejection of me; they were just joining the party of self-rejection I was already hosting for myself. After years and years of self-hate, and trying to garner the favor of people who were not at a capacity or deserving to hold space with me, I realized it was time for me to find a community that could.

Ten years after first beginning to explore my gay identity, I found the courage and self-awareness I needed to rekindle my conversation about who I was as a black man. I began to do intentional outreach to find community, and I soon found a balm to my pain in a community of people who could sing a similar song of experiences to my own.